How To Deal With A Boyfriend Who Is Unemployed?

1. Be a strong, independent woman.

2. Do not give a fuck, its his life not yours.

3. Pretend to be supportive and encouraging, it’s his parents job to tell him how useless he is, not yours.

4. Understand that every man goes through this phase.

5. Make sure that YOU are employed.

6. Make sure that atleast his family is wealthy.

7. Love him for who he is as a human being.

8. Do not spend money on him.

9. Stroke his ego and guilt trip him.

10. Get a side dick.

Empire

How to get Fired?

We’ve both started our first jobs in January this year and we’re just too depressed to work. All we do is the last thing you should do, but like our present life motto, no shits are being given. Don’t be like us, if you want to keep you job.

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So this is what we do-
[PS: Work is from 9am to 6pm. Lunch from 1pm to 2pm]

1. Have s spare hand bag at work

2. Put your spare hand bag on your desk and leave at 4 pm to beat traffic

3. Have an empty phone case at work

4. Insert charger cable into empty phone case

5. Leave it on table or next to fake bag when leaving office for short periods.

6. Make sure you have a folder with the company logo and name on it.

7. Stick your phone and wallet in said file and walk out the office as if going to court.

8. Bump into your boss in the car park at 5pm

9. Call your dad and have him ask his friends for answers to work related questions your boss asked you.

10. Get caught doing 9 (breach of confidentiality)

11. Come Late, Long Lunch, Leave Early.

12. Have tea with the partners and know nothing about current world events or politics because you never read the news.

13. When they ask you why, tell them its because you’ve given up on life

14. Be caught using your phone every single time the most senior partner walks by your desk

15. Have Mirrors on your desk, so you can see who is coming up behind you

16. Last but not least Blog At Work 😀

Random Rant 101

Paris:              Why is everyone around us getting laid?

Rome:            Because they aren’t in LDR’s

Paris:             But its not like we’re meeting new people

Combined :   *laugh*

Rome:             this the kind of shit we need to post on our blog

Paris:               but we’ll never remember this shit

Rome:             that’s why we gotta do it now

Paris:                it’s 5.30pm lets go home!!

-The End-

How to Ace LDR?

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We’re no experts but hey we’re 4th month in and going strong.

This is how..

1.      Don’t Cheat

2.      Don’t even think about it

3.      Skype? Use it.

4.      Viber? (and/or a Vibrator) Use it.

5.      But not too much. You’ve both still got lives to live.

6.      Stroke the others ego. A lot.

7.      Love don’t Hate

8.      Visit

9.      Have a plan for the future, no one does long distance forever

10.  Send surprise gifts

11.  Join a LDR support group or create one.

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