1. Be a strong, independent woman.
2. Do not give a fuck, its his life not yours.
3. Pretend to be supportive and encouraging, it’s his parents job to tell him how useless he is, not yours.
4. Understand that every man goes through this phase.
5. Make sure that YOU are employed.
6. Make sure that atleast his family is wealthy.
7. Love him for who he is as a human being.
8. Do not spend money on him.
9. Stroke his ego and guilt trip him.
10. Get a side dick.
We’ve both started our first jobs in January this year and we’re just too depressed to work. All we do is the last thing you should do, but like our present life motto, no shits are being given. Don’t be like us, if you want to keep you job.
So this is what we do-
[PS: Work is from 9am to 6pm. Lunch from 1pm to 2pm]
1. Have s spare hand bag at work
2. Put your spare hand bag on your desk and leave at 4 pm to beat traffic
3. Have an empty phone case at work
4. Insert charger cable into empty phone case
5. Leave it on table or next to fake bag when leaving office for short periods.
6. Make sure you have a folder with the company logo and name on it.
7. Stick your phone and wallet in said file and walk out the office as if going to court.
8. Bump into your boss in the car park at 5pm
9. Call your dad and have him ask his friends for answers to work related questions your boss asked you.
10. Get caught doing 9 (breach of confidentiality)
11. Come Late, Long Lunch, Leave Early.
12. Have tea with the partners and know nothing about current world events or politics because you never read the news.
13. When they ask you why, tell them its because you’ve given up on life
14. Be caught using your phone every single time the most senior partner walks by your desk
15. Have Mirrors on your desk, so you can see who is coming up behind you
16. Last but not least Blog At Work 😀
Paris: Why is everyone around us getting laid?
Rome: Because they aren’t in LDR’s
Paris: But its not like we’re meeting new people
Combined : *laugh*
Rome: this the kind of shit we need to post on our blog
Paris: but we’ll never remember this shit
Rome: that’s why we gotta do it now
Paris: it’s 5.30pm lets go home!!
We’re no experts but hey we’re 4th month in and going strong.
This is how..
1. Don’t Cheat
2. Don’t even think about it
3. Skype? Use it.
4. Viber? (and/or a Vibrator) Use it.
5. But not too much. You’ve both still got lives to live.
6. Stroke the others ego. A lot.
7. Love don’t Hate
9. Have a plan for the future, no one does long distance forever
10. Send surprise gifts
11. Join a LDR support group or create one.
came to work today to wait to go home