advice

The Green Eyed Monsters – Jealousy & Envy

Posted on by foodlawlove

No one is immune to the green-eyed monster. If you say you’ve never been jealous or envious you’re a liar!

I find that too many people are so jealous in relationships and work. I see it all around me. So I thought id blog it.

Jealousy and envy are emotions that everyone experiences from time to time (whether it be in the context of friendships, romance or work), it’s not always easy to deal with these feelings BUT that doesnt mean you need to let yourself become a crazy deranged psychotic bitch.

While most people use the words “jealousy” and “envy” interchangeably, they’re actually two distinct emotions.

Jealousy:   is that icky feeling you get when you are afraid something will be taken away from you

Envy:         is icky feeling you get when someone has something that you want for yourself.

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Fortunately, there are ways to keep them from affecting your life

How to Deal with It?

  • You own this shit. You have to recognize that this is all about you the control that mothafucka
  • Deconstruct these feelings.  Worried about what your sister has? STOP! Instead focus on your strengths and the opportunities. If you think about yourself enough you’ll soon drown your sister out.
  • You may be creating a problem out of perception. Do you really have problems? Really now? Think long and hard. Don’t go around making mountains out of mole hills. People are dying at war and you getting dog hair on your suit is not a real problem.
  • You thought your way into this, now think your way out of it.  A magic wand is not going to fix this.

Three miracle social experiments you can try that can change the way you look at the world in one week – Tried and Tested.  (Advice from a shrink I once saw):

1.    Every day for one week, write down 100 blessings in your life. Do not repeat blessings. You’d be                surprised how many there are once you start.

2.   Call both your parents and all your siblings on the phone or in person,  and tell them three things that         you’re thankful for about having them in your life. You can leave the social experiment part of it out.

3.       At least once this same week, go to a homeless shelter or soup kitchen and volunteer for eight                 hours. Then sit down and write about your experience there.

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The 3 Types of Boyfriend A Lawyer Dates

Posted on by foodlawlove

warning: only lawyers/law students may relate

THE LAWYER BOYFRIEND He is strong, he is opinionated and he does not take shit from you! He is the one who is financially and emotionally stable in the relationship. Do not start a fight with him because you will lose and cry yourself to sleep at night. You can’t demand things from him because he expects you to be equally independent as he is. So how do you maintain a healthy relationship with the lawyer boyfriend and be happy? There are smarter ways to deal with this type of man than being whiny and aggressive. He thinks he is already a man but every man is still a boy deep inside, so let him ‘feel’ like a man he thinks he is once in a while.

-STROKE THE MOTHER FUCKER’S EGO,STROKE THAT SHIT. Ask about his work and pretend to be interested in what he does, tell him how smart and hardworking he is. Remember, you are actually in control, not him. It’s the ultimate mind fuck.

THE WANNABE LAWYER BOYFRIEND This is a tricky one because while you’re sitting comfortably in your office slaving for the law, your boyfriend who has failed the bar is still trying to make it. Don’t get me wrong, your boyfriend is not a wasteman. He is passionate, he is ambitious, and there is no doubt that he wants to be a lawyer more than you do. It’s just that sometimes the system works against you (or just shit out of luck). He cannot relate to your complaints at work or your dying passion for law because he wants to be in your position so bad. You wish that he’ll just get you for once, everyone has their own issues. If he has “no work” issues, you have “work” issues too! So how do you avoid a fight when your boyfriend does not give you the attention that you want? How does one not look like a spoiled little bitch?

-SARCASM WITH A HINT OF CUTENESS. When a man is striving for his career, he could get a little bit sensitive. He will prioritize his career more than anything else, more than you! So, give him alot of care and love because he needs the support. But do it sarcastically so you are actually the one in control, not him. When he eventually makes it, you will get all the credit for being the loving girlfriend.

THE NON LAWYER BOYFRIEND So this guy is not in the law industry, you are already in control. But conversations can get so dull and frustrating because he just does not get it at all. He thinks that what happens in the tv series Suits is real and all you do is defend criminals . You wish that your boyfriend is not stupid, and you can have more intellectual conversations with him. He is a “yes’ man,but you want him to make the decisions sometimes, even for simple things like where to eat and what to have for dinner, but you wear the pants in the relationship! How do you get him on the same page as you?

-BE GRATEFUL YOU BITCH. Your boyfriend takes shit from you. He spoils you like a princess and he does not always want to win every single argument. Unlike the lawyer and the wannabe lawyer, every fight is a must win case. He does not make you admit you’re wrong. He does not bore you with more “law talks” at home. He has time for you and he takes you out for movies. If you feel that you deserve something more once in a while, think about the two other types of boyfriend. That is all.

Is your boy friend cheating on you? 

Posted on by foodlawlove

1. Sudden change in routine

2. Suddenly goes to the gym

3. Suddenly unnaturally nice

4. Suddenly so patient

5 suddenly wants to buy you gifts

6. Sudden change of display pictures on WhatsApp/ Facebook/ Instagram

7. Sudden lack of cares for what you’re up to

8. Sudden desire to go shopping

9. When you pick up his phone to do something innocuous like check the time he FREAKS OUT

10. He works over time all the time 

11. Suddenly too busy to meet or speak as often as before 

12. Keeps calling himself a loner. Like over emphasising that he’s alone. 

13. He has more girl friends than you

14. He seems to be liking all sorts of break up posts on Social Media

15. He is following too many sexy looking girls on social media 

17. Posts all sorts of pictures of women, including but not limited to, his female friends, ex girlfriends, ex fuck buddies on his social media but none of you as his current girlfriend. 

18. Suddenly has commitment issues. 

19. Hesitant about introducing you to his friends

20. Reluctant to introduce you to any of his family 

 

None of these things in isolation automatically mean your boyfriend is cheating but if you’re saying yes to more than one of these questions and the excuses are just piling up then you need to walk the f*** away.


    

Horrible Bosses- An Open Letter

Posted on by foodlawlove

Getting bullied at work? By someone who isn’t even authorized to bully you?

Then here’s something you can stick on his/her windshield.

Dear I hate You,

Dont be offenced that I hate you, I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. I would however really appreciate it if you just back the hell off an don’t talk to me, especially when I’m talking to myself. I don’t really like or want to be around you, and i need what only you can provide i.e: your absence

I usually remember a face but in your case I’ll make an exception. Speaking about your face have you seen it lately? If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

And you know all your work? All the work you don’t do but take credit for?  I love their deadlines and the whooshing sound they make when they fly by but don’t worry too much about it because no one dies a virgin, life screws us all.

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Nothing Good in Life Comes Easy, even Santa has a Clause

Posted on by foodlawlove

For many years I was a track athlete. I loved to run and sometimes still do. Track for me was much like life. It was about racing- except on the track I ran relatively short distances and life is a really long drawn marathon with all sorts of obstacles.

We all run the race at our own pace. Birth is the starting point for us all and death the finish line.

That race is our own unique life and is always pre-destined, but the way in which we run that race and the time in which it takes us to complete it, is completely up to us. With God given free-will, we can choose to either take the direct route which might be rugged and steep or we can choose to take the scenic route with more paved roads and manicured edges.

Everyday we make choices as to how we are going to run, some days we prefer more adventurous routes and other days, we prefer more of a leisurely stroll. The choice as to how and when you are going to run is always yours, but one thing is for sure, you must always complete the marathon in this lifetime. Your goal is to reach the finish line. How you do that is completely up to you.

Every path we take represents a challenge and every challenge has a lesson for us.The challenges make us stronger and they bring us to the higher-highs.  I hope for all of us life is worth the struggles, challenges and lessons.

If you want to get to the front, you have to run with dedication, purpose and will to overcome obstacles. No one is going to offer you an air-conditioned walk-alator to take you to you to your destination. After all, running is all part of the experience.

It is not as enjoyable if you’re chauffeur driven there. The run, as hard as it is will tell you so much about yourself and what you are made of. When the going gets tough, do you persevere and push on or do you retract in a fit of tears and give up? In life, no one is going to carry you all the time. In fact often and sometimes in the worst possible times you will find yourself alone. Lately I find myself more and more alone. I find that no one understands me and the struggles I face, most days even I don’t understand me. On these days I slow the pace down and catch myself.

After all, you have your entire life time to reach the finish line. You can take any pathway you choose or you may charter your own paths. The run is what life is all about. Push past the challenges and struggles and take your time to enjoy the views. ,Standing in the present and looking ahead sometimes, makes little to no sense, but I hope that one day when the end is in sight I look back and everything falls into place and everything makes sense.

Its hard, but don’t give up. Just two more days till Friday :S

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Instagram #Hashtags for Dummies

Posted on by foodlawlove

So you know about #ThrowbackThursday but did you know that there are #hashtags for everyday of the week? NO? Then you’re a dummy like me, or, or you just have a life.

In any event here is a compilation of the all the #hashtags you’ll ever need if you wanna jump on that social media bandwagon! Have Fun!

Day #Hashtag Explanation/Examples
Monday #MondayBlues  1.         Garfield-like “this day sucks” snapshots of your   Doritos-stained pyjamas,2.         Duck face frown or

3.         Unruly bed hair
 #ManicMonday 1.         super-busy first-day-of-the-week2.         Tall pile of papers on desk
#MusicMonday 1.         share a snippet of your first-weekday tunage 
#ManicureMonday 1.         Self explanatory
Tuesday #TuesdayBoozeday 1.      Stream of drinks2.      Drunken Antics
#TransformationTuesday 1.          Progress on personal goals2.          Before and after shots
#TakeMeBackTuesday 1.         Prequel to weekly throwback2.         The basic old faded photos, bestie photo booth pics etc.
Wednesday #HumpDay 1.        Contrary to popular belief hump day is not actually about humping. It’s to indicate the middle of the week, the summit of the week. Hence the hump2.        So Hump Day is when you sit back and pretend its already the weekend
#WellnessWednesday 1.      A day to promote health and fitness2.      Showcase all your yoga poses and all the dumbbells you can lift

3.      No pain, no gain
#WednesdayWisdom 1.      Feeling blue that its not the weekend yet?2.      Psych yourself up with an inspirational quote

3.      Share your favorite Dead Poets Society Quote, or rather just the one :p
#WayBackWednesday 1.      Too many childhood photos you want to share? This one is just for you
Thursday #ThrowbackThursday 1.      If you don’t already know what this is then you need to go Google it.
 #ThirstyThursday 1.      What you drinking? Post it!2.      Who are you thirsty for? Post it!
#Thursdate 1.      Who are you on a date with?
#ThursdayFunDay 1.      Doing anything fun?
Friday #FridayNight 1.      What are you doing?2.      Where are you partying?

3.      Who are you partying with?
#FridayReads 1. Nerdy #FridayFunday2. Good book?
Saturday #SaturdaySwag#SaturdayShenanigans 1. Are you doing anything?2. Are you doing nothing?
#Caturday 1.      Because come on, everybody on the Internet loves cats. If you don’t, then something is seriously wrong with you. And you’re lying.
Sunday #SundayFunday This is your last chance to make something out of your week. If you haven’t bombarded your feed yet then this your moment to shine
#SelfieSunday If you’ve done your friends a great service by holding out on sharing your face, you may now reward yourself.

How to get Fired?

Posted on by foodlawlove

We’ve both started our first jobs in January this year and we’re just too depressed to work. All we do is the last thing you should do, but like our present life motto, no shits are being given. Don’t be like us, if you want to keep you job.

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So this is what we do-
[PS: Work is from 9am to 6pm. Lunch from 1pm to 2pm]

1. Have s spare hand bag at work

2. Put your spare hand bag on your desk and leave at 4 pm to beat traffic

3. Have an empty phone case at work

4. Insert charger cable into empty phone case

5. Leave it on table or next to fake bag when leaving office for short periods.

6. Make sure you have a folder with the company logo and name on it.

7. Stick your phone and wallet in said file and walk out the office as if going to court.

8. Bump into your boss in the car park at 5pm

9. Call your dad and have him ask his friends for answers to work related questions your boss asked you.

10. Get caught doing 9 (breach of confidentiality)

11. Come Late, Long Lunch, Leave Early.

12. Have tea with the partners and know nothing about current world events or politics because you never read the news.

13. When they ask you why, tell them its because you’ve given up on life

14. Be caught using your phone every single time the most senior partner walks by your desk

15. Have Mirrors on your desk, so you can see who is coming up behind you

16. Last but not least Blog At Work 😀