Definition of a reacher:
1. a person who tries so hard in life but fails even harder
2. a person who thinks he’s impressive but no one cares
3. an unhealthy competitor
As if being around different types of personalities at the office isn’t bad enough, you have to deal with ‘the reachers’. The word “reacher”, perfectly coined by one of the writers of this blog basically means that a person who tries so hard to ‘reach’ or ‘achieve’ at the highest possible level but instead, fails miserably. No matter where you go, there will always be a reacher. In our office, there are three. Yes, boo hoo for us. Hence, this post is dedicated to all the reachers out there. Shout out to you guys and a big fuck you too!
#REACHER NO. 1
This reacher is the annoying colleague who is always all up in your face. His nose is in everyone’s business, he spreads lies and he stays close to the seniors just get into their good books. He comes into work late but stays past office hours to look busy. Who is he kidding? Anyone with a remotely sound mind can smell his bullshit from 10 blocks away. Be prepared to pick up the slacks because this reacher will take up work from the seniors only to leave 80% of the work to be done by you. But fear not because karma works in mysterious ways, if it doesn’t then punch him right in the eye, he’s ugly anyway. And he’s probably short.
#REACHER NO. 2
He is your junior boss but you have a friendship with him outside the office. So it’s complicated because you know he is a nice person but he is also a dick. He delegates all his work to you and then leaves cute messages like “i miss you at work, lets have some drinks during happy hour!” at the end of his instructions to get away with being a nasty shit. That shit is old and it does not work. He’s not even bombarded with work, he is just outside the office having a quickie with some random helpless girl with super low self esteem somewhere. Being the good friend that you are, you help him with the work, but do it poorly because he did not have the authority to instruct you in the first place. Friendship saved!
#REACHER NO. 3
He is your senior boss and he is so close to making a career for himself. He is at his prime time where he’s young, energetic and capable of becoming a partner. Which is why he is the biggest reacher. He has full authority to give you any work he pleases but he is trying too hard to act like ‘the baus’. If he really is respectable as a person of higher position, he does not have to try to hard right? The thing is, you cannot say no and you have to make sure that your work is presentable.THIS IS THE DANGER ZONE. But all is good when the partner likes you better than him.