The Green Eyed Monsters – Jealousy & Envy

No one is immune to the green-eyed monster. If you say you’ve never been jealous or envious you’re a liar!

I find that too many people are so jealous in relationships and work. I see it all around me. So I thought id blog it.

Jealousy and envy are emotions that everyone experiences from time to time (whether it be in the context of friendships, romance or work), it’s not always easy to deal with these feelings BUT that doesnt mean you need to let yourself become a crazy deranged psychotic bitch.

While most people use the words “jealousy” and “envy” interchangeably, they’re actually two distinct emotions.

Jealousy:   is that icky feeling you get when you are afraid something will be taken away from you

Envy:         is icky feeling you get when someone has something that you want for yourself.

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Fortunately, there are ways to keep them from affecting your life

How to Deal with It?

  • You own this shit. You have to recognize that this is all about you the control that mothafucka
  • Deconstruct these feelings.  Worried about what your sister has? STOP! Instead focus on your strengths and the opportunities. If you think about yourself enough you’ll soon drown your sister out.
  • You may be creating a problem out of perception. Do you really have problems? Really now? Think long and hard. Don’t go around making mountains out of mole hills. People are dying at war and you getting dog hair on your suit is not a real problem.
  • You thought your way into this, now think your way out of it.  A magic wand is not going to fix this.

Three miracle social experiments you can try that can change the way you look at the world in one week – Tried and Tested.  (Advice from a shrink I once saw):

1.    Every day for one week, write down 100 blessings in your life. Do not repeat blessings. You’d be                surprised how many there are once you start.

2.   Call both your parents and all your siblings on the phone or in person,  and tell them three things that         you’re thankful for about having them in your life. You can leave the social experiment part of it out.

3.       At least once this same week, go to a homeless shelter or soup kitchen and volunteer for eight                 hours. Then sit down and write about your experience there.

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3 Types of Reachers You Meet At The Office

Definition of a reacher:

1. a person who tries so hard in life but fails even harder

2. a person who thinks he’s impressive but no one cares

3. an unhealthy competitor

As if being around different types of personalities at the office isn’t bad enough, you have to deal with ‘the reachers’. The word “reacher”, perfectly coined by one of the writers of this blog basically means that a person who tries so hard to ‘reach’ or ‘achieve’ at the highest possible level but instead, fails miserably. No matter where you go, there will always be a reacher. In our office, there are three. Yes, boo hoo for us. Hence, this post is dedicated to all the reachers out there. Shout out to you guys and a big fuck you too!

#REACHER NO. 1

This reacher is the annoying colleague who is always all up in your face. His nose is in everyone’s business, he spreads lies and he stays close to the seniors just get into their good books. He comes into work late but stays past office hours to look busy. Who is he kidding? Anyone with a remotely sound mind can smell his bullshit from 10 blocks away. Be prepared to pick up the slacks because this reacher will take up work from the seniors only to leave 80% of the work to be done by you. But fear not because karma works in mysterious ways, if it doesn’t then punch him right in the eye, he’s ugly anyway. And he’s probably short.

#REACHER NO. 2

He is your junior boss but you have a friendship with him outside the office. So it’s complicated because you know he is a nice person but he is also a dick. He delegates all his work to you and then leaves cute messages like “i miss you at work, lets have some drinks during happy hour!” at the end of his instructions to get away with being a nasty shit. That shit is old and it does not work. He’s not even bombarded with work, he is just outside the office having a quickie with some random helpless girl with super low self esteem somewhere. Being the good friend that you are, you help him with the work, but do it poorly because he did not have the authority to instruct you in the first place. Friendship saved!

#REACHER NO. 3

He is your senior boss and he is so close to making a career for himself. He is at his prime time where he’s young, energetic and capable of becoming a partner. Which is why he is the biggest reacher. He has full authority to give you any work he pleases but he is trying too hard to act like ‘the baus’. If he really is respectable as a person of higher position, he does not have to try to hard right? The thing is, you cannot say no and you have to make sure that your work is presentable.THIS IS THE DANGER ZONE. But all is good when the partner likes you better than him.

The 3 Types of Boyfriend A Lawyer Dates

warning: only lawyers/law students may relate

THE LAWYER BOYFRIEND He is strong, he is opinionated and he does not take shit from you! He is the one who is financially and emotionally stable in the relationship. Do not start a fight with him because you will lose and cry yourself to sleep at night. You can’t demand things from him because he expects you to be equally independent as he is. So how do you maintain a healthy relationship with the lawyer boyfriend and be happy? There are smarter ways to deal with this type of man than being whiny and aggressive. He thinks he is already a man but every man is still a boy deep inside, so let him ‘feel’ like a man he thinks he is once in a while.

-STROKE THE MOTHER FUCKER’S EGO,STROKE THAT SHIT. Ask about his work and pretend to be interested in what he does, tell him how smart and hardworking he is. Remember, you are actually in control, not him. It’s the ultimate mind fuck.

THE WANNABE LAWYER BOYFRIEND This is a tricky one because while you’re sitting comfortably in your office slaving for the law, your boyfriend who has failed the bar is still trying to make it. Don’t get me wrong, your boyfriend is not a wasteman. He is passionate, he is ambitious, and there is no doubt that he wants to be a lawyer more than you do. It’s just that sometimes the system works against you (or just shit out of luck). He cannot relate to your complaints at work or your dying passion for law because he wants to be in your position so bad. You wish that he’ll just get you for once, everyone has their own issues. If he has “no work” issues, you have “work” issues too! So how do you avoid a fight when your boyfriend does not give you the attention that you want? How does one not look like a spoiled little bitch?

-SARCASM WITH A HINT OF CUTENESS. When a man is striving for his career, he could get a little bit sensitive. He will prioritize his career more than anything else, more than you! So, give him alot of care and love because he needs the support. But do it sarcastically so you are actually the one in control, not him. When he eventually makes it, you will get all the credit for being the loving girlfriend.

THE NON LAWYER BOYFRIEND So this guy is not in the law industry, you are already in control. But conversations can get so dull and frustrating because he just does not get it at all. He thinks that what happens in the tv series Suits is real and all you do is defend criminals . You wish that your boyfriend is not stupid, and you can have more intellectual conversations with him. He is a “yes’ man,but you want him to make the decisions sometimes, even for simple things like where to eat and what to have for dinner, but you wear the pants in the relationship! How do you get him on the same page as you?

-BE GRATEFUL YOU BITCH. Your boyfriend takes shit from you. He spoils you like a princess and he does not always want to win every single argument. Unlike the lawyer and the wannabe lawyer, every fight is a must win case. He does not make you admit you’re wrong. He does not bore you with more “law talks” at home. He has time for you and he takes you out for movies. If you feel that you deserve something more once in a while, think about the two other types of boyfriend. That is all.

Is your boy friend cheating on you? 

1. Sudden change in routine

2. Suddenly goes to the gym

3. Suddenly unnaturally nice

4. Suddenly so patient

5 suddenly wants to buy you gifts

6. Sudden change of display pictures on WhatsApp/ Facebook/ Instagram

7. Sudden lack of cares for what you’re up to

8. Sudden desire to go shopping

9. When you pick up his phone to do something innocuous like check the time he FREAKS OUT

10. He works over time all the time 

11. Suddenly too busy to meet or speak as often as before 

12. Keeps calling himself a loner. Like over emphasising that he’s alone. 

13. He has more girl friends than you

14. He seems to be liking all sorts of break up posts on Social Media

15. He is following too many sexy looking girls on social media 

17. Posts all sorts of pictures of women, including but not limited to, his female friends, ex girlfriends, ex fuck buddies on his social media but none of you as his current girlfriend. 

18. Suddenly has commitment issues. 

19. Hesitant about introducing you to his friends

20. Reluctant to introduce you to any of his family 

 

None of these things in isolation automatically mean your boyfriend is cheating but if you’re saying yes to more than one of these questions and the excuses are just piling up then you need to walk the f*** away.


    

Horrible Bosses- An Open Letter

Getting bullied at work? By someone who isn’t even authorized to bully you?

Then here’s something you can stick on his/her windshield.

Dear I hate You,

Dont be offenced that I hate you, I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. I would however really appreciate it if you just back the hell off an don’t talk to me, especially when I’m talking to myself. I don’t really like or want to be around you, and i need what only you can provide i.e: your absence

I usually remember a face but in your case I’ll make an exception. Speaking about your face have you seen it lately? If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

And you know all your work? All the work you don’t do but take credit for?  I love their deadlines and the whooshing sound they make when they fly by but don’t worry too much about it because no one dies a virgin, life screws us all.

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Nothing Good in Life Comes Easy, even Santa has a Clause

For many years I was a track athlete. I loved to run and sometimes still do. Track for me was much like life. It was about racing- except on the track I ran relatively short distances and life is a really long drawn marathon with all sorts of obstacles.

We all run the race at our own pace. Birth is the starting point for us all and death the finish line.

That race is our own unique life and is always pre-destined, but the way in which we run that race and the time in which it takes us to complete it, is completely up to us. With God given free-will, we can choose to either take the direct route which might be rugged and steep or we can choose to take the scenic route with more paved roads and manicured edges.

Everyday we make choices as to how we are going to run, some days we prefer more adventurous routes and other days, we prefer more of a leisurely stroll. The choice as to how and when you are going to run is always yours, but one thing is for sure, you must always complete the marathon in this lifetime. Your goal is to reach the finish line. How you do that is completely up to you.

Every path we take represents a challenge and every challenge has a lesson for us.The challenges make us stronger and they bring us to the higher-highs.  I hope for all of us life is worth the struggles, challenges and lessons.

If you want to get to the front, you have to run with dedication, purpose and will to overcome obstacles. No one is going to offer you an air-conditioned walk-alator to take you to you to your destination. After all, running is all part of the experience.

It is not as enjoyable if you’re chauffeur driven there. The run, as hard as it is will tell you so much about yourself and what you are made of. When the going gets tough, do you persevere and push on or do you retract in a fit of tears and give up? In life, no one is going to carry you all the time. In fact often and sometimes in the worst possible times you will find yourself alone. Lately I find myself more and more alone. I find that no one understands me and the struggles I face, most days even I don’t understand me. On these days I slow the pace down and catch myself.

After all, you have your entire life time to reach the finish line. You can take any pathway you choose or you may charter your own paths. The run is what life is all about. Push past the challenges and struggles and take your time to enjoy the views. ,Standing in the present and looking ahead sometimes, makes little to no sense, but I hope that one day when the end is in sight I look back and everything falls into place and everything makes sense.

Its hard, but don’t give up. Just two more days till Friday :S

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Instagram #Hashtags for Dummies

So you know about #ThrowbackThursday but did you know that there are #hashtags for everyday of the week? NO? Then you’re a dummy like me, or, or you just have a life.

In any event here is a compilation of the all the #hashtags you’ll ever need if you wanna jump on that social media bandwagon! Have Fun!

Day #Hashtag Explanation/Examples
Monday #MondayBlues  1.         Garfield-like “this day sucks” snapshots of your   Doritos-stained pyjamas,2.         Duck face frown or

3.         Unruly bed hair

 #ManicMonday 1.         super-busy first-day-of-the-week2.         Tall pile of papers on desk
#MusicMonday 1.         share a snippet of your first-weekday tunage 
#ManicureMonday 1.         Self explanatory
Tuesday #TuesdayBoozeday 1.      Stream of drinks2.      Drunken Antics
#TransformationTuesday 1.          Progress on personal goals2.          Before and after shots
#TakeMeBackTuesday 1.         Prequel to weekly throwback2.         The basic old faded photos, bestie photo booth pics etc.
Wednesday #HumpDay 1.        Contrary to popular belief hump day is not actually about humping. It’s to indicate the middle of the week, the summit of the week. Hence the hump2.        So Hump Day is when you sit back and pretend its already the weekend
#WellnessWednesday 1.      A day to promote health and fitness2.      Showcase all your yoga poses and all the dumbbells you can lift

3.      No pain, no gain

#WednesdayWisdom 1.      Feeling blue that its not the weekend yet?2.      Psych yourself up with an inspirational quote

3.      Share your favorite Dead Poets Society Quote, or rather just the one :p

#WayBackWednesday 1.      Too many childhood photos you want to share? This one is just for you
Thursday #ThrowbackThursday 1.      If you don’t already know what this is then you need to go Google it.
 #ThirstyThursday 1.      What you drinking? Post it!2.      Who are you thirsty for? Post it!
#Thursdate 1.      Who are you on a date with?
#ThursdayFunDay 1.      Doing anything fun?
Friday #FridayNight 1.      What are you doing?2.      Where are you partying?

3.      Who are you partying with?

#FridayReads 1. Nerdy #FridayFunday2. Good book?
Saturday #SaturdaySwag#SaturdayShenanigans 1. Are you doing anything?2. Are you doing nothing?
#Caturday 1.      Because come on, everybody on the Internet loves cats. If you don’t, then something is seriously wrong with you. And you’re lying.
Sunday #SundayFunday This is your last chance to make something out of your week. If you haven’t bombarded your feed yet then this your moment to shine
#SelfieSunday If you’ve done your friends a great service by holding out on sharing your face, you may now reward yourself.